1996 annual letter

                                                                                                December, 1996

Greetings!

                        I hope all of you are having a rewarding and happy holiday season!

                        The last year for us has been busier at the end than at the beginning.  As I related last year, Pat took a new job in the summer of 1995, with a small marketing firm in downtown Mpls.  Her position is what I describe as "chief henchman to the pharaoh"--she's chief staff to the guy who founded and owns the company.  Pat was the first person to have this position.  (A great guy, and she still loves the job.)  We got a scare last summer (1996), when her boss had to let five people go because revenues weren't up to expectations; he also cut Pat to half-time.  We had not expected this, our budget hadn't expected it, and Pat was extremely disappointed.

                        But, she reconciled herself to being half-time, and we reduced Elliott's time in daycare.  Just as she was getting used to the idea of being home more, her boss called her aside during the second week of being half-time and said it had been a mistake to cut

her--could she come back full time?  Pat was delighted.  So was I.  (And the fortunes of the company, now, are such that any such reduction is extremely unlikely, at least for the foreseeable future.)

                        It was especially fortunate that her job returned to full-time status, since we spent a good part of the summer planning a major addition to our house.  This is only a small two-bedroom bungalow, like many built in Mpls in the 1920s and 1930s; it was definitely NOT built for a family of four!  Even though we half-finished the upstairs when we moved in 1989, into two bedrooms for Elliott and Krystin, it wasn't adequate.  And there was no bathroom upstairs, which the kids have made clear they did not like!

                        In mid-November, after a lot of fits and starts--and getting the architect's estimate down from the stratosphere to a price we could barely afford, the backhoe came and dug a large hole in our backyard, across the entire back of the house.  Things finally got going, after we worked on and planned the project for six months.  We'll have a new family room and breakfast area, and upstairs three full (real) bedrooms, a full bath--and we finally recover some closet space.  (Pat and I concluded, when we first moved into this house, that people in the 1930s obviously went around nude most of the time--because they sure didn't have any closets in which to keep clothes!)  So now we are surrounded by dust and debris and the back half of our house is torn off.

                        Krystin and I took a long driving trip to the east coast this summer.  Pat's family has a week-long gathering each summer; this year it was on the outer banks of North Carolina.  Since Pat's vacation time was limited, she and Elliott flew out for the week.  Krystin and I drove, and did some sightseeing afterwards.  (The first night we drove from Mpls to Lexington, KY--810 miles--but time flew by because we listened to books on tape for the entire drive.  Every once in a while I'd see a city go by.  Half the trip we spent listening to Agatha Christie's classic murder mystery, Ten Little Indians.)

                        At the week on the beach in North Carolina we swam and walked the beach collecting shells, visited lighthouses, the Wright Brothers memorial, the sculptured gardens, and gave money to the local Christmas stores.  Then Pat and Elliott flew home while Krystin and I drove up to visit friends of mine at Virginia Tech, in Blacksburg, VA, and then wound our way to Washington, to visit other friends from college. I dragged Krystin to historical stuff; she'd grouse about going, and then have a good time when we got there.  So she saw where Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox, the Luray Caverns, and Woodrow Wilson's birthplace.  In D.C., we covered the Pentagon (a lousy, boring tour), the Holocaust Museum (emotional and dramatic, but too crowded, which is especially a problem for a short kid trying to see and read the exhibits), the Supreme Court, our Congressman's office, the White House, and a few other things.  (Since Pat's family gathers on the east coast every other year, we've gone to Washington as part of the trip several times; our kids may not know other places in the country or globe, but they will know Washington!)  And then we drove back home. 

                        By our original plans, the house remodeling was supposed to start the Monday after Krystin and I got back to Mpls, in mid-August.  We didn't quite make it.

                        Krystin had quite a traveling summer.  I don't imagine there are a lot of 11-year-olds who swim in both oceans within a month.  Before we went east, we went west.  My mother had a cousin in San Luis Obispo, California; my mother died in 1989 and the cousin in 1991.  The cousin's widower called me up this last spring and said he had some family glassware and pictures that he wanted to give me, since I was the only family member that his wife had been in touch with who was interested in family stuff.  But it became apparent to me that he would NOT ship the stuff, so I'd have to go out there to get it if I wanted it.  As a consequence, Krystin and I flew out to Los Angeles and stayed for a week with my cousin Pam Eaker.  One day (by arrangement), we drove up to San Luis Obispo.  When we got there, the stuff was boxed up; we loaded it in the car and it was made quite clear to us (politely) that the sooner we left, the better.  So we turned around and drove the four hours BACK to Los Angeles the same day.  A very strange visit.

                        For the week we were in LA, though, Krystin (and I) got to see a lot, including Disneyland and Universal Studios.  Pam and Krystin went on almost all the of rides, some more than once.  I went on two right away in the morning when we went to Disneyland; they made me sick, so that was the end of that.  Krystin rode them all day.  I made the same mistake once at Universal Studios.  But ye gods, the lines!  I'm not excited about standing in line for 30 minutes for 5 minutes of thrills.  (But then, I'm not excited about the thrills, whether I wait 30 minutes or 30 seconds.  Or, I should say, my head and stomach aren't excited about them.)

                        We also got to see the LA County Coroner's office (Pam is an investigator for the LA Coroner).  We saw a couple of dead bodies, one being worked on (I assume an autopsy); that didn't bother Krystin as much as the smell of all the chemicals.  We also traipsed around Hollywood (really tacky), Beverly Hills (nothing to speak of, because all the big homes are not visible), drove up into the mountains, and visited other cousins (Krystin got to meet one of her third cousins).

           

                        No year seems to be without its bad news.  Pat's mother has been diagnosed with myelofibrosis (a condition where one's bone marrow slowly turns into scar tissue, and, as a result, hemoglobin production is gradually reduced).  Late in the fall, she was also diagnosed with a similar problem with her liver.  She has had a hysterectomy (because originally the docs thought there was ovarian cancer), but that didn't improve anything in particular.  As I write this, she will be leaving the hospital soon.  Unfortunately, the long-term prognosis is not good, because there is no treatment or cure for the liver or bone marrow problem, but for the time being the situation appears stable.

                        Pat's parents have lived in Richmond, VA, since her father retired from his job in upper New York; they had just decided to move back to Minnesota (they are both from the midwest), when Pat's mother took ill.  They even spent the month of September here looking at senior condos, and liked one enough to get on the waiting list.  It's just down the street from us (for those of you who know the area around Inez's house, it's at Becketwood, which sits on the site of the old Crippled Children's Relief hospital).  It is uncertain now whether that plan will ever come to fruition; Pat's mother may never make it up here.

                        Fortunately, those on my side of the family are well.  My dad and grandmother are both still in their homes and doing well.  My dad remains socially busy with his friend Ruth, and my grandmother, at 95, still gets to her club and takes trips with them.  She's also planning a trip to Texas to visit my sister in January.

                        I can't leave out reporting on Elliott, of course.  He went from daycare to kindergarten this year, and accepts the change.  I wouldn't say he's excited about kindergarten, but he says it's OK and he doesn't mind going.  I think what he doesn't like about kindergarten (and the latchkey program in the afternoon) is that he doesn't have any "Elliott time"--when he can be alone and do what he wants, by himself.  He seems to need that time very much--whenever I used to bring him home in the afternoon from the daycare center, the first thing he would do is run to his glider on the swing set (unless it was below zero or we had feet of snow) and just swing and yell and have a good time by himself.  His principal activities in life remain drawing pictures (he is getting better each year), building Legos, gliding and playing in the sandbox, and watching movies.  He remains generally a kid of extraordinary good cheer and good nature (as long as he isn't in battle with his sister, which seems to occur about 90% of the time they are in the same room--or the same house), but he does hear his own drummer.  That's OK with us, but it is a little frustrating for his teachers.

                        I mentioned last year that Krystin was playing (lots of!) ice hockey and soccer, and that we hoped she'd pick soccer as her first sport.  She has, so this year she played traveling team soccer in the spring, park board soccer in the summer, and will be playing traveling (indoor!) soccer this winter (yes, we play indoor soccer in Minnesota, under heated bubbles).  But she'll also play park board hockey with her friends.  My friends are greatly amused that I, who have NEVER personally been interested in athletics, have a jock for a daughter (it's not TOO surprising, however, since Pat WAS an athlete).  I am here to report that in Minnesota, standing inside to watch soccer is much more attractive than standing outside watching hockey--especially when it's -10 and the wind is blowing.  (And I think Krystin made the right choice; she's a good enough hockey player, but she's a better soccer player.)

                        We do attend to other things besides sports and travel.  Once during our driving trip east, Krystin was looking at license plates.  Just outside of Washington, D.C., she asked me if Maryland was farther away from D.C. than Minnesota.  After I got our minivan back on the road and recovered from the shock, I politely inquired if she had learned U.S. geography at any point (she had just finished fifth grade).  She said she had not.  I do track what she's learning in school, and had been a little concerned that there had been insufficient attention to geography (state and U.S.), but hadn't realized how large the omission had been.

                        So, one night in early November, I told her I'd give her a small reward if she could, on a blank map of the U.S., identify at least 45 of the states (and that I'd give her as many tries as she needed).  By the end of that very evening, she could identify all 50 states without error.  Now we're working on state capitols and on the U.S. presidents.  (I then gave her a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle of Minnesota and a 1000-piece puzzle of the U.S., with all the presidents around the outside edge and their birthplaces all marked.  Somewhat to my surprise, she tackled the big puzzle immediately, and in one day got it about 20% put together!  It's better than watching TV.)

                        One major "social" activity of the parents (that's us) remains school activities.  I continue as treasurer of the PTA (I suspect this is a job I could keep forever, given the marked lack of volunteers who jump forward to replace me) and serve on the site-based council for the school.  Pat remains involved in fund-raising for the school.  Those of you local know, of course, that we the citizens of Minneapolis voted in November to continue--and make even larger--a property tax increase for the schools.  Pat and I both gladly voted for it, although it will mean about a $50 per month increase in our property taxes.  (But having good public schools, in our view, is a LOT cheaper than paying for a private school--in addition to being good for the city and for the society in general.)

                        My sister's daughter, Beth, is getting married next summer.  I find that disturbing,

but only because I can't possibly be old enough (she's 21) to have a niece who is old enough to get married!  Krystin is going to be in the wedding, as flower girl.  We'll be traveling to Austin, TX, in August, for the event.

                        The cold and winter came early to Minnesota this year.  I heard recently on the news that for several towns in the state, it was the coldest November of the century; in Minneapolis, the average temperature was 8 degrees below normal.  We've had over a foot of snow since mid-November, and the temperatures before Thanksgiving dipped to -10 and colder (it was -28 in Crookston!), with wind-chills in the -25 and lower.  We have a reputation for living in an icebox, but this is ridiculous, even for Minnesota!  (Our general contractor and his employees, of course, are less than thrilled about these temperatures--but they plod along anyway.)

                        The kids and I are going to get a brief winter break this year; I have a conference to attend in San Diego in January, so I'm going to take the two kids and go to Los Angeles (we'll stay with, and visit, our cousin Pam again--she's in danger of running the Hotel Engstrand).  Then we'll go down to SD for the conference for a couple of days, and do all the tourist stuff as time permits.  Pat won't come along, because her vacation time is limited and because she needs now to go out to Richmond to be with her parents on occasion, so I'll just take the two kids to a warm place for a week.

                        We will do Christmas at my brother and sister-in-law's home (Tracy and Joan's) just outside Barron, Wisconsin--as we have for the last several years.  (Their kids are also getting older--14 and 12.)  It's an idyllic setting--on an island on a lake, surrounded by snow and tall pines.  It seems exactly where a Christmas should be. 

                        I hope you all have as good a season, and as happy a time, as we expect to!