December, 2011
Greetings.
As I began to work on this letter
the day after Christmas, 2010, we were surrounded by piles and piles of
snow. As of Christmas week, 2010, it was
the snowiest December in Minneapolis since they began keeping records in 1891. The snow piles next to my garage were at the
level of my head, and my back told me several times it did not like it when I
have to toss snow above the level of my head.
The joy of living on the tundra.
Meantime, Krystin was in Singapore at that same time, enjoying the
warmth of temperatures in the 80s. Sigh.
As I finished work on this letter
the week after Thanksgiving, 2011, we had just come through a holiday with the
temperature tied for the highest on record.
I wish I could believe that were a good thing. And then a little snow came afterward, making
the scenery very picturesque. Sometimes
even winter looks good.
* * *
Just for fun, and to do something a
little different, I'm going to weave Mark Twain quotes into this letter. (I meant to do them last year, on the 100th
anniversary of his death at age 74, but I forgot). I have always admired Twain's witticisms and
observations about life. I'm going to
include not the well-known ones but rather those that have not received much
attention—but that I think are fully worthy of being repeated. If some of them seem to bear on the preceding
text of my letter, it is entirely accidental.
Maybe. The first one follows
directly on my comments about the weather and its impact on Minneapolis in the
spring.
This
is the only place in the world where the pavements consist exclusively of holes
with asphalt around them. And they are the most economical in the world,
because holes never get out of repair.
- Speech, sometime between 10/15 and 10/17/1907
- Speech, sometime between 10/15 and 10/17/1907
There
would be a power of fun in skating if you could do it with somebody else's
muscles.
- Letter to Thomas B. Aldrich, 18 December 1874
- Letter to Thomas B. Aldrich, 18 December 1874
If
you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
- Notebook, 1894
- Notebook, 1894
Sometimes
Elliott sends me interesting text messages.
I kept a few to include in this letter because they amused me.
From
his first week of classes last January, he wrote this: "I can tell
my astronomy class is going to be awesome. It's funny, too. He uses
a microphone because otherwise his voice would give out from teaching 6 classes
in one day. And since he naturally has a deep and commanding voice, we
now have this surround sound voice-of-god type thing giving the lecture about
the universe." I have to say that I never had that experience.
It is
human life. We are blown upon the world; we float buoyantly upon the summer air
a little while, complacently showing off our grace of form and our dainty
iridescent colors; then we vanish with a little puff, leaving nothing behind
but a memory--and sometimes not even that. I suppose that at those solemn times
when we wake in the deeps of the night and reflect, there is not one of us who
is not willing to confess that he is really only a soap-bubble, and as little
worth the making.
- Mark Twain's Own Autobiography (North American Review, 3 May 1907)
- Mark Twain's Own Autobiography (North American Review, 3 May 1907)
We
all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
-"Corn-pone Opinions"
-"Corn-pone Opinions"
Elliott
and I were talking one night about drug use patterns and history and whether or
not the Founding Fathers knew about marijuana. I surmised they knew about
the opiates, which date back centuries, but I wasn't so sure that marijuana
would have been particularly well-known (or much used) in colonial and
revolutionary times. He sent me a text message the next day reporting
that "'in 1619, Jamestown colony law declared that all settlers were
required to grown hemp or cannabis.' So the Founding Fathers would have
known about it." I asked him how he knew that; he said it was from
Wikipedia, "legal history of cannabis in the U.S."
The
only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you
don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
- Following the Equator
We
could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own
world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished
from it. Mathematics alone would occupy
me eight million years.
- Mark Twain's Notebook
- Mark Twain's Notebook
He
sent me a text message last December, seemingly just at random, that expressed
a sentiment most of us who live in the north share, even if we've lived here
all our lives: "It is really depressing to see the sky getting dark
when it's only 3[:00]." He also expressed frustration in another
text message to me at about the same time, when we had a very brief power
outage: "How did people function before electricity? I can't
play games. I can't cook any food. I might have to play a board
game or something >:( "
Good
breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little
we think of the other person.
- Mark Twain's Notebook, 1898
- Mark Twain's Notebook, 1898
In
Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in
French! We never did succeed in making
those idiots understand their own language.
- The Innocents Abroad
- The Innocents Abroad
Elliott
also sent me last year a message about one of his first courses: "I
like psychology. I've learned more about how our minds work in the past 3
class days than I have in the rest of my life." Apropos of his
college work, he told me one time that "assuming all my grades stay the
way they are, that will put my first semester GPA at 3.5. More than a
point above my high school GPA. How odd." I sent him a text
back asking why it would not be higher (he accepts my questions like this with
good humor); he wrote that "because there is no way in hell I'm getting an
A in psych." We later determined that it wasn't odd at all that he
was doing so much better in college, because while he found high school classes
mostly dull and boring, he found quite the opposite in college classes.
(I never knew, before that, that he found high school so boring. He'd never said that.) What surprised him as much as anything about
college courses, I think, is that he even found the science courses this year
to be interesting--because he, like me, doesn't have a great interest in
practicing science. He's interested in reading about its findings, not
doing it.
We
have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its
efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who
don't know anything and can't read.
- 4th of July speech 1873
- 4th of July speech 1873
The
older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can
contain without bursting one's clothes.
- Mark Twain's Speeches, 1910 ed.
- Mark Twain's Speeches, 1910 ed.
Elliott
takes the bus and light-rail train to school. He texted me one day that
"I just had a fifteen minutes discussion on the train with a priest (yes,
he really was) about the evidence of creationism. He wanted to convert
me." I asked Elliott what happened. "We agreed to
disagree. He attributed various feelings
of happiness to God's influence. I, being a good student, attributed them
to measurable psychology." Elliot later reported that had a
difficult time with the evolution discussion: "The main problem is
that he (and people like him) is very rehearsed in the arguments he uses in his
favor, whereas I (not a biology major or anything) cannot so eloquently make my
point. Which makes me appear ignorant." Now maybe you
understand why I think Elliott should become a lawyer.
An
injurious truth has no merit over an injurious lie. Neither should ever be
uttered. The man who speaks an injurious truth, lest his soul be not saved if
he do otherwise, should reflect that that sort of a soul is not strictly worth
saving.
- "On the Decay of the Art of Lying"
- "On the Decay of the Art of Lying"
Constellations
have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it
will always refuse to live up to it; it will always persist in not resembling
the thing it has been named for.
- Following the Equator
- Following the Equator
You
may have read about Fred Phelps, the "minister" who brings his church
members (mostly family members) to picket military funerals and such. There was a news article about him picketing
at the funerals of those shot in Arizona early in the year. Elliott's response: "Good to know Fred Phelps doesn't plan
on letting his 'Biggest Douchebag in the Universe' title go to someone else any
time soon." Amen. Early in March, the Supreme Court ruled (8-1)
that the pickets were protected by the First Amendment clause guaranteeing free
speech. I told Elliott in an email that
I thought the decision was correct, distasteful though the speech is. Elliott wrote back "Unfortunately the
First Amendment does not have an annoying-douchebag clause."
So
much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel:
"Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is." Not
merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many
religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law
to its code.
- Mark Twain, a Biography
- Mark Twain, a Biography
It is
not worthwhile to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's
character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.
- Mark Twain in Eruption
- Mark Twain in Eruption
Virtue
has never been as respectable as money.
- Innocents Abroad
- Innocents Abroad
Not
a text message, but Elliott made another funny comment when he, Kathy, and I
watched "Casablanca" one night last winter. (He's decided to watch every movie that won
the Oscar for Best Picture, although he isn't sure how far back he'll go. We told him that if he's going to be a movie
expert/buff, he had to see Casablanca
and The Maltese Falcon. (He'd already decided he needed to see Citizen Kane.) So I made a deal with him: If he'd watch those two movies, I'd watch Inglorious Basterds, which he had been
bugging me to watch for some time. After
watching Casablanca, he related that
he had been thinking that it was filled with an enormous number of movie
clichés—and then realized that those clichés came from Casablanca originally
and were only clichés after it was released.
As
for Inglorious Basterds, I decided
I'm not a Quentin Tarantino fan.
In
all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been
conscience money.
- "A Humane Word from Satan"
- "A Humane Word from Satan"
Adam
and Noah were ancestors of mine. I never
thought much of them. Adam lacked character.
He couldn't be trusted with apples.
Noah had an absurd idea that he could navigate without any knowledge of
navigation, and he ran into the only shoal place on earth.
- Speech, November 9, 1901. Reported in The New York
Times, November 10, 1901
If it
had not been for him [Benjamin Franklin], with his incendiary 'Early to bed and
early to rise,' and all that sort of foolishness, I wouldn't have been so
harried and worried and raked out of bed at such unseemly hours when I was
young. The late Franklin was well enough in his way; but it would have looked
more dignified in him to have gone on making candles and letting other people
get up when they wanted to.
- Letter from Mark Twain, San Francisco Alta California, July 25, 1869
- Letter from Mark Twain, San Francisco Alta California, July 25, 1869
All my life I have marveled at
this. Kathy and I went to a Minnesota
Orchestra concert last winter, an all-Mozart concert that included five short
pieces of sacred music (so the performance included the Minnesota Chorale as
well as the Minnesota Orchestra). One of
them, Veni Sancte Spiritus ("an
invocation of the Holy Spirit to descend to earth, bringing comfort, rest,
mercy, salvation, and joy to the faithful"), he wrote when he was 12 years
old! His brain functioned in a way that
I cannot comprehend, and did so at a very young age. (I can vaguely understand what Albert
Einstein did to reach his paradigm-shifting conclusions in physics—could never
in a million years do the same thing, but I can sort of understand what he
did. I have no conception of how one
would determine that one needs 4 violins, 2 flutes, a drum, 2 cellos, and a
clarinet for this movement, and some to be quiet and others to play in a
different movement—much less then add multiple human voices to the music. I will never understand that.)
Even
popularity can be overdone. In Rome,
along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died; but by and by
you only regret that you didn't see him do it.
- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
- Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
There
are wise people who talk ever so knowingly and complacently about 'the working
classes,' and satisfy themselves that a day's hard intellectual work is very
much harder than a day's hard manual toil, and is righteously entitled to much
bigger pay. Why, they really think that,
you know, because they all know about the one, but haven't tried the
other. But I know all about both; and as
far as I am concerned, there isn't money enough in the universe to hire me to
swing a pickaxe thirty days, but I will do the hardest kind of intellectual
work for just as near nothing as you can cipher it down--and I will be
satisfied, too. Intellectual 'work' is
misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation and its own highest reward. The poorest paid architect, engineer,
general, author, sculptor, painter, lecturer, advocate, legislator, actor,
preacher, singer, is constructively in heaven when he is at work. . . . The law of work does seem utterly unfair--but
there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the
worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, also.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
Mid-winter
Kathy and I enrolled in a class to learn how to make stained glass. Something each of us had wanted to do for
years but had never gotten around to. So
now we have. It's not especially difficult;
it's just somewhat time-consuming. I
made two additional panels after our first one made in class, and I worked from
patterns. In theory I could do my own
patterns, but given my utter lack of creativity along those lines, and given
that there are thousands of patterns available, I don't feel compelled to be
original. I've tried to talk Elliott
into drawing me a pattern, but he's not been excited about doing so. My goal is to have a stained glass panel
hanging in most windows in the house.
(Kathy decided that she'd rather make glass panel lamps—a.k.a. Tiffany
lamps—than the stained-glass panels. So
we'll at some have lamps with stained-glass shades all over, lamps that the
cats can then knock over.)
There
are certain sweet-smelling sugar-coated lies current in the world which all
politic men have apparently tacitly conspired together to support and perpetuate. One of these is, that there is such a thing
in the world as independence:
independence of thought, independence of opinion, independence of
action. Another is that the world loves
to see independence--admires it, applauds it.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography
- Mark Twain's Autobiography
The
highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the
base to the dome, of graceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish
lying.
- On the Decay of the Art of Lying speech, 1880
- On the Decay of the Art of Lying speech, 1880
Last
February, because Krystin very much wanted us to do so, we contemplated going
to visit Krystin in August in South Korea and then going with her to Japan for
a week or so. Upon learning we were
thinking seriously about the trip, she wrote on her Facebook page, "My
daddy is coming to visit in July!! Not 100% sure yet, but... my daddy MAY be
coming to visit in July!!" ["Daddy"? My goodness.]
To which Kathy responded, on Facebook, "And what am I, chopped
liver? That's ok, I'll get over it. Somehow. :-P" Krystin quickly wrote back
"lol Kathy of course I would be excited to see the rest of
you!" I think she was excited that we were thinking about coming. .
. .
By
and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall
all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
- Notebook, 1902
- Notebook, 1902
I have witnessed and greatly
enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me
has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have
witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have
ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.
- Mark Twain in Eruption
[A sentiment with which Kathy and her mother, both opera lovers, are in complete agreement. So I haven't seen any of the Met Opera productions over the last two years of Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. I have suggested to Kathy that we could go to Bayreuth, Germany, to see the Bayreuth Festival production of the four operas, but that travel plan has been met with a cool reception.]
After
much hemming and hawing about it, we decided to go to South Korea and Japan. [I am hereafter going to refer to Korea,
rather than repeatedly keying "South Korea." We didn't go to North Korea—no one
does.] We had at one point decided not
to go, and to go to Scotland and Ireland instead (a lot less expensive), and
then thought about going to Melbourne to visit my friends Rowland and Stella
Evans. Then we had dinner with a friend
of Kathy's, Gayla Marty, who pointed out to us that it would be unlikely that
we would ever again have the opportunity to travel as a five-some, our two boys
plus Krystin, to a place that all of them wanted to see (Japan). After she made that point, we realized we had
to make the trip. We were going
primarily because Krystin wanted me/us to come—and because the two boys are
both enamored of Japan and things Japanese.
They were both really excited about being able to go.
I was more wary about this trip than
any I have taken before, primarily because this would be my first trip outside
the bounds of Western civilization.
These would be places where the language and the food would be utterly
alien. We had dinner with a couple of
faculty friends whose fields are Japanese history and culture, and they told us
that very few people in Japan speak English (contrary to what one might
believe, given the westernization of Japan since WWII). They were correct. The same was also true in Korea—few spoke
more than a few words of English. I
would normally make an attempt to learn at least a few important phrases in a
local language, but both Korean and Japanese are such complicated languages,
and so dramatically different from European-based languages, that I didn't even
try. I worried I might inadvertently insult
when I intended the contrary. (One
saving grace for us was that a fair number of the signs—streets and
establishments—are also in English, so we could at least figure out some
things.)
I should say, at the outset, that
all of my impressions from this trip are jaundiced by the fact that we rarely
saw a temperature below 90 degrees.
Because the vast majority of our trip was spent in urban areas,
surrounded by asphalt and concrete and tall buildings, the heat was even more
oppressive; we had no temperature readings while we were out and about, but I
would not be surprised to learn that on several days the ambient temperature in
the cities was over 100. The humidity
levels matched the heat. Every time we
went outdoors, we were walking into an oven. Intellectually, we knew before we left that it
would be hot and humid when we were there, but had resolved that we'd just put
up with it. What we didn't think about
was how debilitating the heat and humidity are when one spends much time out in
it—in our daily lives here, when it is hot and humid, we simply don't go
outside very much. When one is being a
tourist, in places where many of the sites are outdoors, it is more difficult
to escape. Several times during the trip
we decided not to see something because it would mean more time spent outdoors,
and we also retired to our hotel for a nap on some afternoons because we were
so exhausted by being out in the sun and heat.
Even the kids were affected and were glad to get back to the hotel. We also slept longer every night than we ever
do at home.
An aside: After this experience, I recalled reading in Before the Dawn, a book about the
history (development and spread, based on evidence from DNA) of human beings
prior to the beginning of the written record of human history, that it seems
humans (mostly in Northern Europe) developed lactose tolerance only in the last
5000 years or so, because of the reliance on cow's milk. That led me to wonder if that same group of
people, those who migrated to Scandinavia and surrounding areas, might also
have developed an INtolerance for heat.
I consulted with a couple of genetics experts at the University, who
said the hypothesis was quite plausible (although, I infer, there isn't any
research that documents such intolerance—which could be rather difficult
research to conduct if, as I suspect, temperature sensitivity is a
multi-genetic trait, if it has any genetic component at all). When I see people (mostly of darker skin
colors and most likely from some parts of Africa) in the Twin Cities driving
around in mid-summer with their car windows open when the temperature is in the
90s, in cars that are clearly fairly new (and thus have air conditioning), I
conclude that some of us are more heat tolerant and others of us are not.
And another aside: Much to my surprise, I'm probably the one who
was least affected by the heat. That may
have been because I wore the goofy-looking broad-brimmed hat I bought years ago
in Australia. It kept the sun off my
head and shoulders. The others often
looked on the verge of wilting. (But I
confess that I have never worn so many sweaty clothes without washing in my
life.)
After the 12+ hour flight, that left
us like zombies because we didn't sleep, we had a 2-hour bus ride to Cheonan,
the city south of Seoul where Krystin lives and teaches. We stayed in a "love motel," a
place where adult couples go to get away from it all (and where, I suspect,
assignations occur as well). But it was
just like any reasonably decent hotel I have ever been in and the
accommodations were fine. It was also
far cheaper than any of the other options, none of which were close to Krystin.
My first impressions after landing
and riding in the bus were that we had landed in Los Angeles (minus the palm
trees) and that Korea has the same bushes and weeds that we do. We also saw mile after mile of 20-30-40-story
apartment buildings, often in large complexes where the buildings were
identical. I found these huge complexes
depressing because the thought of living in one of them, all the same and with
no lawn and garden of one's own, would be depressing. I know that people grow up in large cities in
the U.S. in apartment buildings, and that the fact many of us have our own city
lots is a reflection of the fact that the U.S. has much more space per capita
by far than Korea and Japan, but I would find living in one of those buildings
aversive. These complexes exist all over
Korea and Japan, I learned as we traveled.
In Korea we relied almost completely
on taxis, which are remarkably inexpensive.
The cab drivers, however, like everyone else spoke virtually no English,
so initially we had some trouble conveying to the drivers where we wanted to
go. We visited Krystin's school our
first full day in Korea, and she had one of the Korean teachers write out the
school address on a slip of paper in Korean, something we could give to cab
drivers when we were going to meet her.
We also used one of the hotel business cards to get back. So the routine was to get into a cab and hand
the driver one of our slips of paper.
Many of them then turned to their GPS to find the location.
Our first major tourist stop was
Independence Hall, a huge complex of buildings spread over hundreds of acres
devoted primarily to the Japanese occupation of Korea from 1910 to 1945. It was not a happy time for Korea and it
amply demonstrates why there is, even to this day, little love lost between the
Koreans and the Japanese. It was a
brutal occupation that Koreans remember.
We were hot and sweaty walking up the very long entrance promenade
(i.e., 3-4 football fields in length with memorials and monuments) before we
even got to the museum portion of the site.
We joined Krystin a couple of
evenings after her work day ended (at 9:00) at her local "pub." The teachers go there frequently, and the
owner, Mr. Lee, joined us one night (and kept on providing us complimentary
beer that we didn't really want). He
spoke enough English that we could carry on a conversation. I learned that in Korea, I was already 60,
because one is born age 1 there; I told Mr. Lee that I declined to accept the
Korean practice in that regard; he laughed.
The boys were too tired to join us, and since neither of them drinks
anything alcoholic, they were uninterested in coming to a pub; they stayed in
the hotel and went to bed. (I doubt
either of the two boys were ever in bed as early and as often as they were on
this trip. They were wiped out most days
by the heat, and ended up turning off their lights at 8:00 or shortly thereafter.)
We visited the imperial palace in
Seoul, home to Korean emperors up until 1910.
A large complex of buildings, much of it was destroyed over time and by
the Japanese during the occupation.
Korea is slowly reconstructing the buildings and grounds; they are about
40% done now and hope to be finished by 2050.
What struck us was the lively painting all over, especially on the
ceilings and beams. Some group of people
spent years and years painting all those repeating patterns all over the buildings.
Kathy and I saw the height of
cocktail-hour elegance. One night about
5:00, long before Krystin got off work, we decided we wanted a beer. (Somehow, during this entire trip, beer
always sounded better than wine or scotch.
At least for us, it always does when it's hot and humid.) We wandered around the neighborhood near our
hotel but could not find a pub. So we
went into the 7-Eleven at the end of the street our hotel was on and bought a
couple of beers and sat on red plastic chairs under a red plastic 7-Eleven
umbrella in a nondescript part of Cheonan and had our cocktails. It was hot, but since we were shaded by tall
buildings, it was tolerable. (There are
7-Elevens all over Korea and Japan. The
ones in Korea were among the few places that had international ATMs where we
could get cash.)
Among our more interesting
experiences in Korea was a half-day tour of the DMZ. We again took the train to Seoul, took the
subway to Itaewon (part of the megalopolis of Seoul, the location of a large U.S.
military base), and had a bus tour of the DMZ.
There were a lot of memorials to troops killed during the war, an
exhibition hall tracing the onset of the war and events afterward, and many
plaques expressing a desire for Korean reunification. Koreans are acutely aware that theirs is the
only divided country left after WWII. We
also went down into one of the tunnels that have been dug by the North Koreans
under the DMZ to provide for a means of troop entry for a sneak attack from the
North. It was a long way down, and we
(Elliott and I, mostly) had to walk slightly bent over for the length of the
tunnel, about 800 feet. We wore
construction helmets, which was a good thing because both Elliott and I bumped
our heads on the rocky ceiling several times. The tunnel was blasted out of rock and only
about 5-6 feet wide; the estimate is that North Korea could get 30,000 troops
per hour through it. We were skeptical. The North Koreans have dug four such tunnels
that have been discovered; the South Koreans are no longer looking for more on
the ground because they can now use GPS technology of some kind to identify any
additional ones the North Koreans might try to dig. The walk in the tunnel was the only time on
the entire trip that I was even faintly chilly.
It is funny, in a sad way, that the
two tallest flagpoles in the world are at the DMZ. The two Koreas each have one at the DMZ, and
over the years have competed in erecting the tallest one. I don't know which, North or South, has at
present the taller one.
Also rather bizarre is a ghostly
train station. At one point North Korea
had agreed to train transportation between north and south, so South Korea
built a spanking new train station. Then
the North Koreans changed their mind, so there is a sparkling, clean, unused
train station at the border. Elliott and
Spence walked out on the tracks—figured that was the only time in their lives
that they'd be able to do that. It was a
rather poignant place, with direction signs pointing to the correct track to
get to Seoul or Pyongyang. One can buy
souvenir train tickets; if the station were in operation and one could take a
train through North Korea, one could get from Seoul to Lisbon on the trains
(through China and Russia and back south into Europe). Elliott kept his ticket and figured someday
he'd try to come back and take the ride to Lisbon, if the route ever opens.
Our
guidebook noted that we are given notice when entering the DMZ—which we
were—that it is a military site where enemy action may occur and that we risk
the possibility of severe injury or death when we come close to it. We saw only a bright, sunny, hot day. The DMZ has spawned a cottage industry in
tourism—ours was by no means the only tour bus there—and there is a museum shop
where one can buy the usual tourist stuff.
We got a couple of t-shirts.
Our guide, who attended high school
in the U.S. and attended the University of Nevada, so spoke perfectly good
English, also gave us one chilling fact:
The North Koreans reportedly have 2100 missiles aimed at Seoul, and in
the event of a full-fledged attack by the North, there would be no one left
alive in Seoul after the missiles all landed.
I worried about Krystin being in South Korea for a year because of the
lunatic who runs North Korea; now I was just going to be glad to be out of
Korea after our trip so we weren't there in the event the North decides to
attack. I know, hasn't happened in 60
years, but with people like Kim Jong-il in charge, one never knows what he
might do.
One thing I decided while on this
trip was that I do not care for central urban areas with their congestion,
dirty streets, noise, and complete lack of greenery (Korean, Japanese, or U.S.
cities). The population is so densely
packed that there are always people everywhere.
And noise. We were grateful when
we got home to be in the quiet of the back yard, surrounded by plants and
trees. (Even though we lived in
Edinburgh for 5 months, that's a small city by comparison—perhaps 500,000
people—and filled with green and parks.)
It also may be that I was somewhat sour about being in a congested urban
area because of the heat and humidity.
Big cities are big cities—too much concrete, too many people, too little
green.
All three of the kids like Asian
culture and people. Krystin has said
that if she can't find a job when she returns to the U.S., she'd consider
another teaching gig and would return to Korea (rather than go to Europe or
elsewhere). Elliott said that he could
envision himself living in Japan (but only planned to visit again). Spence said he thought he'd live in Japan at
some point. I find this fascination with
Japan/Korea puzzling, because it is so unrelated to anything in their lives. I have never had any great interest in Asian
cultures or society or history—nothing against the Koreans or Japanese or
Chinese, I just haven't been particularly interested in their countries. For whatever reason, I'm a Europhile, and
that's that. (Having said that, I did
find both Korea and Japan interesting experiences and I don't regret the trip
at all.)
At the end of the stint in Korea, on
Saturday morning (July 30), we met Krystin and took the train from Cheonan (in
NW Korea) to Busan (a port on the SE coast).
The train ride was in essence a long tunnel interrupted by occasional
valleys with towns/cities in them. Korea
has spent a fortune blasting tunnels for the trains. The ride illustrated for us exactly how
mountainous the country is. We took a
hydrofoil from Busan to Fukuoka , on the southwestern coast of Japan. It took about two hours, went very fast, and
was like riding on an airplane—sit in the seats, buckle your seatbelt, and buy
stuff from the attendant if one wished.
We encountered a significant problem
when we arrived in Fukuoka in the evening:
No international ATMs. We had no
Japanese money; we'd assumed there'd be an ATM available on arrival. Only after a great deal of messing around
with the port staff and taxi drivers (none of us understood each other very
well) did we get to the kids' hostel and find ATMs. (Which, for international travelers, are not
very widespread generally in Japan.) All
this in dark. We then checked into our
traditional Japanese inn, with futon mats for sleeping laid on bamboo mats,
robes, and bathroom and shower located in different parts of the building. Upon entering the inn, one removes one's
shoes and puts on slippers; one removes one's slippers on entering the bedroom,
and one wears one's slippers to the bathroom or shower and switches to another
set of slippers when using the facilities.
I neglected to remove my slippers when entering the guest room; the
innkeeper said something in Japanese and pointed to my feet. Oops.
I guess to my culturally narrow-minded point of view, this was a lot of
changing of footwear. One also hopes
that the last person who wore the slippers didn't have any fungal diseases of
the foot.
We
didn't really take advantage of what one should do in such an inn; we arrived
too late to do much other than go out and have a beer and go to bed. The whole process from arrival to getting
checked in took over 3 hours; we needed a beer!
Inasmuch
as there's not a lot to do in Fukuoka for tourists, and because we wanted to
get to Hiroshima, we got up and out on Sunday morning and got on the train. It was an 8-block walk to the train, and even
in the late morning it was so hot and humid that I thought Elliott, Krystin,
and Kathy were going to faint. As with the ride from Cheonan to Busan, it was a
long tunnel interrupted by (lush, green) valleys. We initially got on the wrong class train,
which we figured out as we were riding, so we got off at the first station and
got on one that our Japan Rail pass was good for (fortunately, they never seem
to check passenger tickets, probably because one has to go through turnstiles
with the appropriate card to even get to the tracks to get on the trains).
The large museum in Hiroshima
dedicated to the dropping of the atomic bomb was extraordinarily well
done. It was balanced, judiciously
neutral, and included remarkable displays and pictures of before and after as
well as the reasons that led up to the event.
The large peace park, across the street from our hotel, was also well
worth the time spent walking around in it.
Before we left Hiroshima, we hopped
on the train to go to the ferry to go to the island of Miyajima. We saw the Itsukushima Shrine, a large orange
"gate" set in the water outside the island, originally built in the
early 600s, as well as the other temples
and a pagoda. Also a lot of "wild"
deer that are all over the place—wild, but well accustomed to tourists who feed
them. That's one interesting thing
about Korea and Japan; except for a few Roman ruins in northern Europe, there's
not much there that dates from such early times.
Then
off to Kyoto, the capitol of Japan for about 800 years, up to 1868. The city that everyone said we should make
the center of our visit (not Tokyo).
Two of the spots everyone recommends
one see in Kyoto are the silver temple and the golden temple. We went first to the silver temple, up in the
hills around the city. It actually
wasn't much to look at, for something so famous. I learned later that the "silver"
was never actually put on the exterior, so it's just wood. From there we went on the "philosophers'
walk," two kilometers next to a little brook. It was actually pleasant, under the trees,
even though it was hot, and we found a marvelous little gallery where Kathy and
I both purchased prints. We later in the
trip went to the Golden Temple, which really is covered in gold. We were, however, looking at a
"replica," because the original was torched by an unhappy Buddhist
monk in 1950 and was completely rebuilt (including all the gold gilding) at enormous
expense. The gardens surrounding the
temple were gorgeous, and we would have lingered in them had it not been so hot
and humid.
Nijo Castle was the 33-room home of
the shoguns, who ruled Japan until they were forced to give power back to the
Emperor in 1868 (which is when the capital moved to Tokyo). It was ornate, and we had to take our shoes
off to go through it, but it certainly didn't begin to compare to the gaudy
standards of European palaces. It took
me awhile to figure out a rather potted history of Japan, but I learned that
the shoguns ruled Japan from the early 1600s until 1868, at which point the
Emperor regained power. Emperor Meiji
took power (the Meiji restoration); his great-grandson is the current Emperor.
As advised by several, we took a
train to Nara, site of the major Buddhist shrine in Japan. The heat, as usual, was brutal, there were no
clouds, and the train station was at the other end of town from the
shrines. Of course, the first major shrine
was shrouded in plastic and scaffolding—being renovated. So we went on to others, and saw an enormous
amount of (very dusty) Buddhist statuary (in a French Renaissance building!)
and the largest Buddha in Japan. I know
little about Buddhism, but I was amazed at the endless variety of Buddhist
sculptures/statues. I don’t understand
Buddhism to be polytheistic, but I did not know what all these sculptures of
different Buddhas and other worthies represent.
One suggestion we received before we
left was to tour the major department stores in Japan. We did.
They looked just like major upscale department stores in any U.S. city.
Kathy and I discovered a little pub
down the street from our hotel in Tokyo where the beer was moderately cheaper
than elsewhere. It was sort of a dive,
but it sure was popular with the locals.
We also ate there a couple of times, and the food was remarkably good,
considering the place. No wonder it was
locally popular.
One of my most brilliant decisions
was to decide, on the spur of the moment one morning in Tokyo, to reserve 3
seats on an all-day Gray Line tour of the city.
Kathy and Spence were off taking a tour of their own, so we were on our
own. It was brilliant because we could
see some of the major sites, in short stints—and then get back on the
air-conditioned bus!
One of the highlights of the trip
for Kathy and me was the Tokyo National Museum, one of the major collections of
Japanese art. It took us half an hour to
figure out how to get out of the subway station to get to the museum, but we
finally made it. We spent several hours
there looking at (more) Buddhas, ceramics, lacquerware, prints, and a lot of
other things. As I have often found, the
museum store was a great place to pick up a couple of small gifts/mementos.
One odd development during the trip
was that the two boys discovered they like curry, and found a chain restaurant
that they frequented when they didn't want to eat dinner with us. Elliott hasn't eaten in a curry place since
he got back, however.
As we would sit outside in the
morning in Tokyo at a local coffee place, we learned that the work uniform for
men is black pants and white shirts; there were some jackets but very few
ties. For young women it is white
blouse, black or navy skirt, nylons, and low pumps.
Elliott and I one morning went to
the major electronics district in Tokyo, where he saw a lot of games he wished
he could have, but they are not available in the U.S. and don't work on
American game machines. He was
despondent that all these nifty and interesting games are available in Japan
but not the U.S.
At the end of 16 days, we were ready
to come home. Back to a familiar culture
and temperatures we could tolerate. Fortunately,
we had decided to pay a little more and get a direct flight from Tokyo to
Minneapolis. That overnight east-to-west
trip is the most disorienting one that humans have devised, but on Judith's
advice, several years ago, we take melatonin before and after such flights and
can get through the jet lag reasonably quickly.
Krystin
returned home three weeks after we did.
Her teaching contract was completed.
With the wonders of modern technology (and the fact that we brought her
her US cell phone), she kept me posted on where she was on her trip from Seoul
to San Francisco to Minneapolis.
I
have found out there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or
hate them than to travel with them.
-Tom Sawyer Abroad [Fortunately, we found out we liked one another.]
-Tom Sawyer Abroad [Fortunately, we found out we liked one another.]
It
liberates the vandal to travel--you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn,
narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck
in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and
bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction.
- The American Abroad speech, 1868
- The American Abroad speech, 1868
I am saddened to
report the death of my long-time and close friend Judith Martin, professor of
urban geography at the University and wonderful addition to many a dinner party
here over the years. She was a lively
conversationalist and good listener when one needed to talk. (And sometimes a talker who needed a good
listener, which I tried to be.) We shall
miss her a great deal—and so will the community at large if the attendance and
participation at her memorial service are any indication. She probably did as much as anyone in the
last 50 years to bring thoughtful and people-friendly change to the Twin
Cities.
When
red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
One
should not pay a person a compliment and straightway follow it with a
criticism. It is better to kiss him now and kick him next week.
- Inscription written on fly leaf of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from the L. M. Powers collection. Reported in Kansas City Star, April 10, 1911, p. 6.
- Inscription written on fly leaf of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn from the L. M. Powers collection. Reported in Kansas City Star, April 10, 1911, p. 6.
To
any foreigner, English is exceedingly difficult. Even the angels speak it with
an accent.
- written in Clara Clemens copy of Pudd'nhead Wilson
- written in Clara Clemens copy of Pudd'nhead Wilson
Elliott pointed out to me the oddity
of the English phrase "a near miss."
That says you nearly missed, almost missed—but didn't miss. So if you didn't miss, you hit. So the meaning of "a near miss" is
exactly the opposite of the meaning of the words suggests. What one means is "a near hit," I
think. Another one of those examples of
why English is difficult to learn for a non-native speaker.
Ours
is a mongrel language which started with a child's vocabulary of three hundred
words, and now consists of two hundred and twenty-five thousand; the whole lot,
with the exception of the original and legitimate three hundred, borrowed,
stolen, smouched from every unwatched language under the sun, the spelling of
each individual word of the lot locating the source of the theft and preserving
the memory of the revered crime.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography
- Mark Twain's Autobiography
We easily perceive that the peoples
furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman
are furthest apart--and we consider this one of the signs of savagery. But we
are so stupid that we can't see that we thus plainly admit that no civilization
can be perfect until exact equality between man and woman is included.
- Notebook, 1895
- Notebook, 1895
We
had a delightful weekend on Leech Lake in June with our friends Rolf and
Roberta Sonnesyn. The highlight of the weekend was that I won the
official bocce-ball championship, 2 games to 1, against Rolf. I pay no
attention to the fact that after our "tournament," Rolf beat me 2-0
in non-conference play, and beat me 11-0 and 11-3. Uff da. Not only
that, the Sonnesyns won both games of Chronology—Rolf won one, Robert won one,
and Kathy and I won none. If it weren't
for the great company, I'd say Kathy and I need to find other people to
socialize with, people whom we have a reasonable chance of competing with at
games of skill. A coda to the story is
that I have been on a two-year quest for nymphs and fairies (stone/concrete)
for the garden, and we always look when up north with Rolf and Roberta, but
thus far have never found one.
We
returned to Leech Lake in October. Rolf
beat me in the bocce tournament. We
decided that next year it will be a triathlon:
bocce, croquet, and horseshoes. I
need help from the more-athletic Kathy.
Every
time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end
you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten
the dog.
- Speech 11/23/1900
- Speech 11/23/1900
Carlyle
said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography; Mark Twain in Eruption
- Mark Twain's Autobiography; Mark Twain in Eruption
Kathy moved into my house (to become
"our" house in the near future) this summer, so we have combined
possessions. One such combination
occurred when we set out to plant flowers in the back yard: We brought all our flower pots to the
site. We discovered, when we were done
planting flowers in the pots, that we had 42 pots between us—and we'd filled
them all up. Those filled flower pots
represented a number of trips to the garden stores, but the effort, we concluded,
had been worth it: We felt, when sitting
out on the deck last summer, as if we were in a conservatory (albeit one with a
rather limited and random set of plants, annuals that can flower with little
direct sunlight). Or perhaps it was a
jungle.
The one drawback to the combination
of households is that we now live in Gary and Kathy's furniture warehouse. We put many of her belongings in storage, in
the faint hope that at some point in the near future one of the three children
will move into an apartment and need furniture.
But some of it we brought into my/our house. Our tastes in decorating are not the same,
and mine has evolved over the years, from art deco to prairie to Victorian, so
the house was largely a potpourri. With
the addition of some of Kathy's furniture it is now simply jumbled. Feng shui it ain't.
Statesmen
will invent cheap lies, putting blame upon the nation that is attacked, and
every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will
diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus
he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for
the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.
- "Chronicle of Young Satan"
- "Chronicle of Young Satan"
The
rain is famous for falling on the just and unjust alike, but if I had the
management of such affairs I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if
I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors I would drown him.
- quoted in My Father Mark Twain, Clara Clemens
- quoted in My Father Mark Twain, Clara Clemens
Kathy
and I decided last summer to invite a few friends over from time to time to sit
out on the deck for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. The weather was a challenge, since summer was
cool and rainy well into June, but we managed to have a few such events. One of my faculty friends of long standing,
who had been here a number of times before over the years, with various
combinations of people, declared after joining us in June that he and his wife
were great fans of the salons de
Engstrand (his italics). We love the appellation, although Kathy gets
the lion's share of the credit because she produces the food. I just clean the deck and try to be
entertaining. The former I can do well;
the latter less so.
The
observance of Thanksgiving Day -- as a function -- has become general of late
years. The Thankfulness is not so general. This is natural. Two-thirds of the
nation have always had hard luck and a hard time during the year, and this has
a calming effect upon their enthusiasm.
- Following the Equator
- Following the Equator
It is
at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals,
but there is seldom any money in them.
- Mark Twain, a Biography
- Mark Twain, a Biography
There
is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take
it at par.
- Notebook, 1904
- Notebook, 1904
Kathy was kind enough to throw a
60th-birthday party for me. I was not
keen on turning 60 (yes, I understand that the alternative is worse), but at
least the event included the very pleasant announcement to our friends that we
got engaged. Our friends Geoff and Mary
have invited us to come to Muskoka, Ontario, where they have a family cottage;
that may be our destination honeymoon.
Kathy was supposed to get her engagement ring at the party, but what
with traveling to Asia and general busyness, she didn't get it until
mid-November.
And at the party, Rolf and Roberta
were kind enough to bring me a little stone cherub, which may be about as close
to a "nymph" as I get.
What
is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it.
- More Maxims of Mark, Johnson [Yikes, I hope not!]
- More Maxims of Mark, Johnson [Yikes, I hope not!]
I
feel for Adam and Eve now, for I know how it was with them. The Garden of Eden I now know was an
unendurable solitude. I know that the
advent of the serpent was a welcome change--anything for society.
-Mark Twain, a Biography
-Mark Twain, a Biography
One
of my favorite emails each day comes from Delancey Place, and I cited a couple
of the posts last year. There was one
this year that caught my attention, that dealt with the "two competing
visions of the future from British authors George Orwell (1903-1950) and Aldous
Huxley (1894-1963)." Orwell, of
course, wrote 1984, and is better known, but "Huxley's Brave New World
has proven more relevant. . . . Neil
Postman contrasted the two visions in the foreword to his 1985 classic Amusing
Ourselves to Death:
We were keeping
our eye on 1984. When the year came and [Orwell's] prophecy didn't, thoughtful
Americans sang softly in praise of themselves. The roots of liberal democracy
had held. Wherever else the terror had happened, we, at least, had not been
visited by Orwellian nightmares. But we had forgotten that alongside Orwell's
dark vision, there was another - slightly older, slightly less well known,
equally chilling: Aldous Huxley's Brave New World.
Contrary to common belief even among the educated, Huxley and Orwell did not prophesy the same thing. Orwell warns that we will be overcome by an externally imposed oppression. But in Huxley's vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.
What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.
Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny 'failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions.' In 1984, Huxley added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us.
Contrary to common belief even among the educated, Huxley and Orwell did not prophesy the same thing. Orwell warns that we will be overcome by an externally imposed oppression. But in Huxley's vision, no Big Brother is required to deprive people of their autonomy, maturity and history. As he saw it, people will come to love their oppression, to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think.
What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one. Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information. Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism. Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.
Orwell feared we would become a captive culture. Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy. As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny 'failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions.' In 1984, Huxley added, people are controlled by inflicting pain. In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure. In short, Orwell feared that what we hate will ruin us. Huxley feared that what we love will ruin us.
A
depressing but I am sometimes afraid accurate depiction of the world in which
we live.
A
policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and
title are the most potent thing, the most formidable influence, in the earth.
They move the human race to willing and spontaneous respect for the judge, the
general, the admiral, the bishop, the ambassador, the frivolous earl, the idiot
duke, the sultan, the king, the emperor. No great title is efficient without
clothes to support it.
- "The Czar's Soliloquy"
- "The Czar's Soliloquy"
A
man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be led by
the nose.
- Mark Twain's Notebook
- Mark Twain's Notebook
Krystin's working a seasonal temp
job at Toys R Us this fall. She managed
to draw 8:00 p.m. Thanksgiving night to 6:00 a.m. Friday morning. She said it was actually very busy until
about 2:00 a.m., then slowed some, and picked up again about 4:00 a.m. People are nuts. I could not save enough money on something
that I'd go shopping at 3:00 in the morning to buy it. Maybe a new house, but I don't think they
sell real estate at that time of the day.
At least not yet.
My
usual style of ciphering out the merits of poetry, which is to read a line or
two near the top, a verse near the bottom and then strike an average.
- "Answers to Correspondents"
- "Answers to Correspondents"
He
had arrived at that point where presently the illusions would cease and he
would have entered upon the realities of life, and God help the man that has
arrived at that point.
- Jack Van Nostrand speech, 1905
- Jack Van Nostrand speech, 1905
To
create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
- Mark Twain's Notebook, 1902-1903
- Mark Twain's Notebook, 1902-1903
Gail
Collins, in one of her columns in The New
York Times in September, summarized the Republican primary contenders and
contests. Although I am not
conservative, I know several thoughtful conservatives with whom I enjoy talking
politics and the philosophy of government.
We can find areas of agreement. But
what we confront now is so depressing that Kathy and I have actually talked
about what it would be like to live in Denmark or Sweden were one of the truly
anti-intellectual candidates actually to be nominated and win the 2012
election. Collins recalls, among other
things, that
Rick Perry stands up with a smirk to talk to students about
how you can get C’s, D’s and F’s and still run for president. . . . Perry told
the students, 'God uses broken people to reach a broken world.' What does that
even mean?
The Republicans are now the “How great is it to be stupid?”
party. In perpetrating the idea that
there’s no intellectual requirement for the office of the presidency, the right
wing of the party offers a Farrelly Brothers “Dumb and Dumber” primary in which
evolution is avant-garde.
Sarah Palin, who got outraged at a “gotcha” question about
what newspapers and magazines she read, is the mother of stupid conservatism.
Another “Don’t Know Much About History” Tea Party heroine, Michele Bachmann,
seems rather proud of not knowing anything, simply repeating nutty,
inflammatory medical claims that somebody in the crowd tells her.
So we’re choosing between the overintellectualized professor
and blockheads boasting about their vacuity? The occupational hazard of democracy is
know-nothing voters. It shouldn’t be know-nothing candidates.
One
of my political science colleagues wrote to me recently that "Perry is the
demagogue that the Framers feared. Very few politicians actually scare
me. He does." Since that was
written, however, Mr. Perry seems to have fallen back in the race for the GOP
nomination. Given some of the
alternatives, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not.
That virtually all of the candidates deny that humans are causing global climate change, which is in all probability global warming, despite the fact it is as established as scientific findings ever get, makes me despair. Of course there remain disputes among scientists about the meaning of certain data, and how it can be used and interpreted, and what additional data would help, but the scientific community is not doubt about the fundamental premises. A science is dead if there it has no disagreements and debates. (I see that the International Energy Agency, a rather staid outfit, has issued (November, 2011) its predictions about global climate change and predicts a catastrophic 11-degree (Fahrenheit) increase in average temperature (I believe within this century) unless certain policy steps are taken by 2017. The IEA is not known for its dramatic statements on climate change.)
That virtually all of the candidates deny that humans are causing global climate change, which is in all probability global warming, despite the fact it is as established as scientific findings ever get, makes me despair. Of course there remain disputes among scientists about the meaning of certain data, and how it can be used and interpreted, and what additional data would help, but the scientific community is not doubt about the fundamental premises. A science is dead if there it has no disagreements and debates. (I see that the International Energy Agency, a rather staid outfit, has issued (November, 2011) its predictions about global climate change and predicts a catastrophic 11-degree (Fahrenheit) increase in average temperature (I believe within this century) unless certain policy steps are taken by 2017. The IEA is not known for its dramatic statements on climate change.)
That the GOP candidates almost all also deny the validity of evolution,
which is the foundation of all of modern biology—and thereby of most of modern
medicine—is so discouraging and depressing that I've sometimes just quit
listening to the news. When I go on to
consider the appalling income disparity in the country, I worry even more,
because eventually it is these kinds of disparities that lead to
revolution. But the GOP seems to believe
it essential to protect and enhance the wealth of the wealthiest among us. The fact that the middle class is shrinking
and the "under class" growing should make all of us alarmed for our
children, our retirement, and the country.
The
citizen who thinks he sees that the commonwealth's political clothes are worn
out, and yet holds his peace and does not agitate for a new suit, is disloyal;
he is a traitor.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
When
even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a
superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its
maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any
evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity
of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.
- "Is Shakespeare Dead?"
- "Is Shakespeare Dead?"
Supposing
is good, but finding out is better.
- Mark Twain in Eruption; Mark Twain's Autobiography
- Mark Twain in Eruption; Mark Twain's Autobiography
I
never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas
Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
- "Foster's Case," New York Tribune, 10 March 1873
- "Foster's Case," New York Tribune, 10 March 1873
I
have over the years contemplated writing an autobiography. Not because I expect it to be a best-seller,
or even something that large numbers of people would want to read, because my
life has probably been among the less interesting on the planet. More, rather, to (1) pass along to the kids a
history that they wouldn't read, either, or (2) to see if I could trace my own
personal and intellectual development in such a way that it made sense to
me—and that might, someday, be at least mildly interesting reading to the kids.
After I began pulling some materials
together—I have all my life been an inveterate saver of letters from others as
well as copies of my own, in addition to other notes and whatnot—I realized I
might not want to write this story. I
started with the assumption any such narrative had to be truthful and
unvarnished, to the extent writers can be truthful and unvarnished about their
lives. Then I realized, as I began to
compose, that I do not want to relive in unvarnished fashion the painful or
embarrassing (or both) emotional and romantic episodes in my life or the
mistakes I probably made in life choices. They are buried and should remain so. There is a reason that these kinds of life events
fade into distant memory, and even fade away almost completely: We would be depressed and in psychological
pain were we obligated daily to confront our past mistakes. What most of us do is pick up the pieces, try
to learn from the experience, and get about our lives.
So maybe what I'll do is set aside
the emotional/romantic/relationship events and educational/career-path choices
in my life and focus on why it is I've come to think about and view the world
the way I do, given where I started and what I encountered along the way over
the last six decades. Which might be
interesting for my kids, since we have regularly talked about all kinds of
ideas ever since they were young.
I
think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until
we are dead--and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought
to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier.
- Mark Twain in Eruption
- Mark Twain in Eruption
There
has never been an intelligent person of the age of sixty who would consent to
live his life over again. His or anyone else's.
- Letters from the Earth
- Letters from the Earth
It is
not in the least likely that any life has ever been lived which was not a
failure in the secret judgment of the person who lived it.
- Mark Twain's Notebook
- Mark Twain's Notebook
One
day early this fall I was sitting in a committee meeting with a group of
faculty members who were discussing whether the University should consider
adding contextual information to student transcripts. At Minnesota, as at virtually all other
institutions of higher education in this country, grades have inflated so that
one can argue that way too many students receive an A in courses. (Grades are compressed, really, because they
bump up against the top of the scale; as one of my colleagues once observed,
what the faculty need to do is add a new grade Z, above the A, which would mean
super-duper performance, and when too many students receive a Z, add a Y, which
is super-fantastic, unbelievable performance, and then when too many students
receive a Y, add an X. . . .) (The
serious "inflation" of grades actually began during the Viet Nam war,
when college instructors realized that giving a student (male) a low grade
might very well mean he would be drafted and sent to Viet Nam. Quite a few instructors didn't wish to put
themselves in that position.) Adding
context to a transcript would mean something as simple as indicating the
average grade in the course as well as the student's grade, or the percentage
of students who received an A, or whatever.
It isn't clear where this idea is going, although both North Carolina
and Cornell have added contextual information to their transcripts.
During
the meeting when this discussion was going on, I received a text message from
Elliott (my cell phone makes only a very quiet sound when it receives a text
message). So I surreptitiously looked at
it; he wrote: "Got an A on my psych
exam. Meaning I officially have an A in
all my classes." I am afraid that I
chuckled a little bit aloud right in the meeting, which is, of course, unprofessional
as well as rude. (I later sent the group
an email message about why I had laughed; the message elicited a number of LOL
reactions.)
When
a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas
about cold weather are not valuable.
- Following the Equator
- Following the Equator
Loyalty
is a word which has worked vast harm; for it has been made to trick men into
being 'loyal' to a thousand iniquities, whereas the true loyalty should have
been to themselves--in which case there would have ensured a rebellion, and the
throwing off of that deceptive yoke.
- Mark Twain's Notebook
- Mark Twain's Notebook
The
radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the
views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
- Notebook, 1898
- Notebook, 1898
Elliott
received his first paycheck in late November; he took a part-time job at
Davanni's, a local pizza-and-hoagie chain.
As of the time I compose this, he is assigned to hoagies when he goes in
to work. But he'll be rotated around as
he gains more experience. I told him
that most of the people I know, including me, started out with a job like that,
at the bottom of the heap. It's a
humbling experience, and it also gives one great sympathy for people who have
those low-paying mostly-boring jobs as their way of making a living. Elliott commented over Thanksgiving weekend,
when we were driving somewhere, that the job also reinforces for him the value
of staying in college, because he does not want to do this kind of job for the
next 40+ years.
I
wonder, however, if it isn't unusual (at least in the statistical sense) for
someone his age (21) to have never held a job that carried a paycheck. He's done considerable pet-sitting, when Pat
had pet jobs that she could give him, and he's done odd little projects from
time to time to earn a few bucks, but never a "real" job. As he pointed out, his wants in life are
simple—video games and equipment, the occasional DVD, and the cost of ordering
music from iTunes—so he's never needed a lot of money. It isn't clear to me why he suddenly decided
to get a part-time job, except that perhaps he decided it simply was time, so
that he had at least some kind of experience on his resume when he goes to look
for a job after college.
I,
like all other human beings, expose to the world only my trimmed and perfumed
and carefully barbered public opinions and conceal carefully, cautiously,
wisely, my private ones.
- Mark Twain in Eruption
- Mark Twain in Eruption
A
banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging.
It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor of it overlooked no detail
that could furnish weariness, distress, harassment, and acute and
long-sustained misery of mind and body.
- Mark Twain in Eruption
- Mark Twain in Eruption
The
noblest work of God? Man. Who found it out? Man.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography
- Mark Twain's Autobiography
I end the year satisfied and happy and
delighted with my relationship with Kathy.
We are planning a post-nuptial party, probably for February, and once we
set the party date, we'll get the nuptials done so the invitations will be
correct and it really will be post-nuptial.
I wish you a happy, healthy, and prosperous
2012.